graham norton during Eurovision 2013: the best of 

• graham: if two girls kissing offends you, then grow up
• on ireland performance: good news for the irish economy, i hear they’ve discovered oil there. too bad it’s baby oil and they appear to have used it all on his backing dancers.
• graham on montenegro: the picture quality of the moon landing was better than this link to Montenegro
• montenegro: we have to be brief, don’t we?
• graham: yes
• graham: i don’t think bonnie can win now, i don’t know, i’m not carol vorderman.
• petra: we're half through voting now
• graham: oh that's depressing
• estonia: shows up
• graham: is he standing outside a prison?
• albania: petra you look gorgeous tonight!
• graham: better than you
• albanian guy: (singing) should i live, should i die without your love--
• graham: you should leave
• eric: i'll help you to the bathroom
• graham: don't do that eric, that's how rumours start
• germany: we're having so much fun!!!1!
• graham: speak for yourself
• dude: breathes
• graham: oh look, it's sideshow bob, nice of him to show up
• petra: azerbaijan won 2 years ago, it can still happen now!
• graham: god, please, no
• denmark: winning
• graham: busy right now, just won the eurovision, i'll call back later. #donereallywell!!1!1!
• voting after denmark has won: proceeds, ppl giving points to russia or idk
• graham: can someone please tell her she can't win now
• graham: oh flowers now, marvellous
• graham: my taxi is waiting outside so if she could sing as quick as possible, that would be nice

reasons u should adopt me as ur pet 

nietzscheisdead:

if you have to put “non-racist” on your website,

kaaayrutledge:

There’s a new Hyperbole and a Half, you guys, and it is spectacular.

“I don’t give a shit what the world thinks. I was born a bitch, I was born a painter, I was born fucked. But I was happy in my way. You did not understand what I am. I am love. I am pleasure, I am essence, I am an idiot, I am an alcoholic, I am tenacious. I am; simply I am…You are a shit.”